Discord
Privacy settings, DM restrictions, server safety
Last updated: March 2026
Open Privacy & Safety Settings
Open Discord on your child's device (or the desktop app). Tap the gear icon next to your child's username at the bottom to open User Settings. Navigate to "Privacy & Safety." This is where the most important controls live.
Enable Explicit Content Filtering
Under "Safe Direct Messaging," select "Keep me safe." This automatically scans and deletes direct messages that contain explicit images. While not perfect, this is an important first layer of protection. Make sure this is set to the highest level, not "Do not scan."
Disable DMs from Server Members
Still in Privacy & Safety, turn OFF "Allow direct messages from server members." This prevents strangers in shared servers from sending your child private messages. Your child can still receive DMs from people on their friend list. This is one of the most important settings to change, as most unwanted contact on Discord starts with unsolicited DMs.
Restrict Friend Requests
Under "Who can send you a friend request," uncheck "Everyone" and "Server Members." Keep only "Friends of Friends" checked, or uncheck all boxes to prevent anyone new from adding your child. This means your child can only be friends with people they send requests to intentionally.
Disable Activity Status and Presence
Go to the "Activity Privacy" section in settings. Turn off "Display current activity as a status message." This prevents strangers from seeing what your child is playing or doing, which predators can use as conversation starters. Also consider disabling "Allow friends to join your game" under Activity settings.
Set Up Family Center
Discord now offers a "Family Center" feature. On your phone, install Discord and create your own account. Go to User Settings, then "Family Center." Follow the prompts to send a connect request to your child's account. Once linked, you can see a summary of your teen's activity: who they've been messaging (not the content), servers they're in, and who they've been in voice calls with. Your teen must approve the connection and can see that you have this access.
Pro Tips
- •Regularly ask your child which Discord servers they've joined. Servers focused on specific games or hobbies are generally safer than large open-invite "social" servers.
- •Discord is rated 13+ by its terms of service. If your child is under 13, they technically should not have an account.
- •Watch for signs your child is using Discord's "invisible" status to hide their activity from you while still chatting online.
What This Doesn’t Cover
- •Discord's Family Center shows who your teen messages, but NOT the content of those messages. You cannot read their chats.
- •Discord does not have robust age verification. A determined child can create a new account with a fake age.
- •Server-level moderation varies enormously. Even "safe" servers can have unmoderated corners or voice channels.
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